I can’t believe she’s 4. We had a lovely birthday evening: they had a nap, then we went out for Chinese food, and then over to Grandma’s for cake, ice cream, and presents. Mary got a bunch of fun presents, including a Buzz Lightyear toy. Conor and I got him for her because Wesley got Woody for his birthday and Mary immediately stole him. On the way home from Grandma’s, Mary spoke up and said, “I think Buzz is really for Wesley.” I said, “Well, I’m sure he’d like to share him, the way you share Woody.” She said, “No, I think it’s Wesley’s Buzz. I’ll use him sometimes, though.” I can’t decide: does this mean she loves Wesley and wants to share? Or does it mean that she doesn’t really want Buzz in the first place? (She has been playing with him all night though.)
She really is so grown-up.
It’s an odd thing to consider: Mary was a surprise baby, definitely NOT planned. Five years ago, I would have said babies were years in the future, if ever.
But–and I know almost all parents who have unplanned babies say this eventually–I’m so glad that we have her and that she was born when she was born. She started school yesterday and it’s been a rough couple of days for me and Wesley. We miss her like crazy. Wesley cried and cried this afternoon when we left campus because he wanted Conor to stay with us instead of going to work (“I want Daddy! I need Daddy NOW!”) and then whimpered, “Mama, where did Mary go? She in her classroom?” Poor kid. He’s so sad and lonely. I think he’ll figure it out soon and realize that he gets all of the attention and toy, but the adjustment is hard on him.
I miss her, too (although I have been so busy with the semester starting that I’ve had little time for it). For a little perspective: I have spent every day with her since she was born. I teach in the morning, spend the afternoon with her; or I’m with her all day. I’ve never spent a night away from her. I have never spent so much time with one person ever (well, presumably since I was myself a baby). And I have to say, amazingly enough, the vast majority of those days have been good ones. And I wouldn’t give any of them up.
Well….except for that day when she smeared poop all over her crib. That I would have handed off to anyone who wanted to step in.