Archive for the ‘Wesley’ Category

skeptical

I was getting dinner ready tonight, cutting up a head of cauliflower, when Wesley came in. He eyed the cauliflower suspiciously and announced, “I’m not eating that.”

“Aside from your tasting bite, you mean?” I asked.

He folded his arms and said, “I don’t like it.”

I said, “You’ve never tried it. Maybe you’ll think it’s delicious.”

He looked at the cauliflower and said darkly, “I have my doubts, missy.”

 

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busted

So, Mary is sick and Wesley was exhausted, so the kids went to bed at 6:30. After I put them to bed, I came downstairs and started making dinner for the adults (braised leeks from Smitten Kitchen).

I was busily braising my leeks–which smell more or less like heaven must smell–and I heard Wesley coming down the stairs. He trotted into the kitchen, fixed me with an accusatory look, and said, “Are you COOKING while I’m in bed?”

I said, “Yes, I am. Are you hungry?”

He said, “No, but I still might WANT some of that.” ┬áHe stood up on tiptoe to try to see what it was, and then said, “You’re not supposed to cook unless I am here to eat it.” And then he turned around and stalked back upstairs to his bed.

he needs the truth.

Conversation between Mary and Wesley this evening…

Wesley: Did you know sometimes people say there’s a bunny about Easter?

Mary: The Easter Bunny?

Wesley: Yeah!

Mary: Yes. But he is pretend.

Wesley: I know. I KNOW! But he is still for Easter.

Mary: Yes, he is.

Wesley: He is not real though. Easter baskets are from Mama and Daddy.

Mary: Yes, like the quarter from the tooth fairy.*

Wesley: The tooth fairy is only for you, though.

Mary: Uh-uh! Everyone gets the tooth fairy. Except that’s really Mama and Daddy too. It’s pretend.

Wesley: Why would the tooth fairy come to me? I have all my teeth.

Mary: Someday they’ll fall out.

Wesley: [gasps, covers mouth]

Mary: But then they’ll grow back.

Wesley: WHAT!?! You have GOT to be kidding me.

Mary: I knew you’d want to know the truth.

* Yes, a quarter. I’m a cheap bastard–what can I say?

Bonus–a buddy pic from this weekend:

overheard

Wesley: I played enough Star Wars–I’m going inside now.

Mary: What! We’re not done!

Wesley: I’m cold.

Mary: Fine. You go ahead. I’ll just stay here and support the Rebels ALL BY MYSELF.

Wesley: Okay. I think I will drink some milk while you support the Rebels. [goes inside]

protesting too much

I just went upstairs to see what Wesley was doing that was making a thumping noise.

When I opened the door, he was standing at the end of the crib with a plastic bird in one hand and a spoon in the other. He said urgently, “Mama, I didn’t!”

quack

Earlier tonight, I gave Wesley a bath and then he wrapped up in a hooded towel that is supposed to make the kid look like a butterfly.

Wesley: Quack!

Me: Are you a butterfly quacking?

Wesley: No, I’m a duck! A duck wrapped in a towel.

Me: Oh, I see.

Wesley: Quack, quack. Look at my butterfly towel. Quack, quack, quack. I want some bacon. Quack, quack, quack.

Mary: Why would a duck want bacon?

Wesley: Because he’s really me in a butterfly towel. Quack, quack.

The more articulate he gets, the weirder I realize he is.

car conversation

On the way to dance class, Mary picked up her lunch box and started snapping it open and closed toward Wesley, like a mouth. It swiftly degenerated into this…

Mary: Chomp!
Wesley [who was wearing bulldozer pajamas]: Eat my digger pants!
Mary: Chomp, chomp! Mmmm. Delicious!
Wesley: Have some brocky! [I thought this was a mispronunciation of “broccoli” but actually it was a made-up word.]
Mary: I don’t like brocky, I like people! Let me eat you! Chomp, chomp.
Wesley: Okay, but just a little. [Holds out foot.]
Mary: Okay, I had a little and I’m done.
Wesley: I’ll put the rest of me in the refrigerator for later.

Me: You know it’s not safe to go in the refrigerator, right?
Wesley: We’re just joking! I wouldn’t really let a monster eat my digger pants.