Archive for June, 2012

animal planet

Mary: Knock knock!

Wesley: Who’s there?

Mary: A cheetah!

Wesley: A cheetah who?

Mary: A cheetah never wins!

Wesley: At what? Dominoes?

Mary: Because they have no thumbs, see? [maniacal laughter]


shocking news flash

The kids were out playing in their little pool, and Mary came up to the porch, sobbing. She said, “Wesley won’t do what I tell him to do!” and burst out wailing again.

I said, “Well, the thing is, you’re not actually Wesley’s boss.”

“What!” said Wesley, eyes wide. “She’s not?”

what no one is wondering about the Muppet movie

Wesley: You know, the new Muppet movie doesn’t have Robin the frog in it.

Me: That’s true.

Wesley: Why?

Me: I don’t know.

Wesley: Maybe he was camping that day!

Mary: Wesley! Frogs don’t go camping.