how to be a fabulous cook

Forget Julia Child–now you can have my rules for being a great cook!

1) Use much garlic. Not garlic powder, garlic salt, or jarred garlic–garlic.
Sub-clause A: If you have a recipe that calls for garlic and you don’t know how much to add, triple it.
Sub-clause B: If it doesn’t call for garlic, add 3 cloves (only one for brownies).

2) If the steak is hot, it’s done enough.

3) If the vegetable is hot, it’s done enough too.
Sub-clause A: Unless it’s a potato, in which case cook it for hours.
Sub-clause B: Or an onion–those are often delicious when they’re really really cooked.

4) Throw away your ketchup–it is disgusting. (Conor and Mary restrain me from following this one.)

5) Use a pepper grinder. Pepper that’s already ground tastes like sand. (I think. I’ve never eaten sand.)

6) Aluminum foil is one of the products that is worth buying brand-name. Get the Reynolds Wrap. Target-brand aluminum foil is one of the worst things known to mankind.

7) 70% of meals should feature basmati rice.

Simple, right? You too can be the best cook in your house!


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by liz on October 20, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    i agree with everything except the ketchup rule. ketchup is yummy, especially on meatloaf.

    jarred garlic = gross. i hate when people use that.

    if i am the only person in my house, do i still get points for being the best cook?


  2. Posted by GreenePiece on October 20, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    Sure. I take credit for being a better cook than Wesley.


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