Okay, so here is a novel idea.

Someone should start a company to make clothes…that fit pregnant women!

You might be thinking, well, they make those. You’re wrong. What they make are MATERNITY clothes, which fit no one. Except possibly models wearing strap-on bumps.

The pants: they simultaneously cut into your belly and threaten to fall down.

The shirts: they don’t cover your belly because they’re too short, plus most of them show a totally disturbing amount of cleavage (especially considering that any and all maternity bras are hideous and resemble nothing so much as beige armor, so they always show).

All of which means that pregnant women spend the whole day tugging the shirts down over their bellies, pulling up their pants, and trying not to flash anyone or show TOO much bra.

So my idea is, make some clothes that fit pregnant women! We will buy them, I promise. Hint: longer. Shirts that are longer.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by nmchale on March 11, 2008 at 4:48 am

    Amen, sister!!! The pants thing especially drove me nuts. I had one pair of maternity jeans that I got with Jack that fit well enough in the store, but when I walked further than 20 feet or so, they’d begin to work their way down my butt. I didn’t realize this until I wore them to work one day. I knew by the time that I made it across the parking lot that I was going to have to go to the mall (one mile away versus the 19 miles home) to buy another pair of pants. I actually had to hold the pants up while I walked.

    To add one point to your rant: why are maternity clothes so freakin’ expensive? Really, is there THAT much more material/craftsmanship involved? And okay, Motherhood Maternity stuff is cheap, but the fabric feels like sandpaper and it all looks like crap as soon as you wash it. Gap stuff is good, but it’s twice as much as their regular stuff! Is an elastic panel that expensive?!

    Okay, two points: whoever decided that the cute little “demi-belly pouch” pants would fit a 9-months-pregnant woman is simply a sadist. I held out for as long as possible, but I lived in those freakin’ kangaroo jeans during the last month of each pregnancy. They weren’t pretty, but they were comfortable and didn’t fall off.


  2. Posted by liz on March 16, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    ok, that’s it, i am seriously never having babies


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