obligatory picture-heavy birthday blog!

Mary is one today! In honor of this event, I bring you:

Seven Dirty Lies about Pregnancy, Birth, and Babies

1. You’ll feel better by the end of the first trimester.

Riiiiight.

2. It won’t hurt in between contractions.

It will so.

3. When you’re in labor, you will be too focused on having a baby to worry about people seeing you with no pants on.

Bullshit.

4. Newborns are beautiful.

Newborns have coneheads.

5. Babies are cuddly.

Some babies are cuddly. My baby wants to climb up to the top of my head and sit there, surveying her domain. She has no interest in being snuggled.

6. Babies will stop spitting up by the time they reach about six months of age.

Still waiting on that one.

7. Once you have a baby, you won’t be able to remember what your life was like before he/she was born.

I remember it. It was more boring but also cleaner. And I could go to the movies or a play whenever I wanted, but I had no good excuse to skip events that sounded boring. Now I just say, “Oh, I’d love to, but I’ll have the baby that day.” (Like I don’t have her every day and go to everything I want to anyhow.)

And now: the Mary Baby Picture Retrospective.

She started out like this:
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Conor waited at the hospital for a long time:
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When she was born she was not so cute:
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But by about 12 hours, she looked like this:
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She got tired at the hospital:
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By about three days later she looked like this:
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And eventually she looked like this:
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She did a lot of things:
crawled

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saw fireworks

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went swinging
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went swimming
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inspected Conor’s nose
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took a bath in the salon sink
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grew adorable baby feet
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went to the Denver art museum
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and grinned
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She read a lot of books:
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She met Jake:
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and Jack
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Grandma and Grandpa Swarthout:
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and Ama:
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and Grandma Moreland:
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and Cherie and Jenny:
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and Molly:
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and Suz:
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and Linda:
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and the parrot:
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and a sheep:
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and Eddie
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She liked meeting everyone. It makes her happy and she makes this face:

smiley
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She wore many hats:
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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by liz on September 5, 2007 at 3:08 am

    i can’t believe she is one! happy bday mary! i need to make it out to visit some time before she gets her driver’s license…

    Reply

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